We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
