Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
