Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
no you cant smoke seaweed
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
