I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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