Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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