I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
