I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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