Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
