Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
