i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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