How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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