he quoted the bible to break up with me
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
