Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I love you. Go after that dick
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
