if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
this will be a night to untag.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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