i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
