the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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