He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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