So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
