That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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