yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
