Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
