He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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