the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Everything about him screamed your future.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize