I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
