He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
