he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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