Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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