Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize