This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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