Already got asked if we're dating
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
