He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
