sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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