I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
