Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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