Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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