the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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