Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize