elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
