reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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