I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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