I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
