I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
