Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
