Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
