i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
