So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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