YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
