we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
