she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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