He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize