All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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