Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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