His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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