I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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