who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
