didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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