you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
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Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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