there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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